Eight Mondays to discover how everything fits

Two words – usually unspoken – can weigh heavy in your soul. The words? IF ONLY

The bad “if only”

If only you knew what to do next. If only this hadn’t happened. If only that would change. If only you were a different person. If only they were different. If only you could fix it, move it, delete it, control it, forget it, do it over.

If Only. If Only has friends, too, named Why? When? and How? If only you could answer those friends. Then everything would be so much better. Then you could rest a bit inside and have some peace. But the bad “if only” is a wild monkey. Good luck taming it.

The good “if only”

But there is another kind of “if only.” And it also is two words:


Ahhh, if only you knew that everything fit – even when it doesn’t look like anything fits. At least that would take some pressure off dealing with the other “if only” and his friends. THEN you could gain confidence and find peace in the middle of confusion, waiting, regret, and hopelessness.

This “if only” can lead to good things.

One way everything fits for me

I was an alcoholic for fourteen years and jobless much of that time. What a waste. Through drinking I earned a graduate degree in the habit of avoiding responsibility. The education was effective and years later I still struggle to engage the things I’m charged with at work, home, and with the Lord. Those were the normally foundational years of a man’s career – and I spent those years developing a foundation of irresponsibility.

Where would I be now if I had made different decisions and faced reality? If only. So now what? When? How?

Looking back it all fit. I was as hopeless an alcoholic as I could be and it didn’t stay that way. Maybe you know how powerful it is to experience going from hopelessness to hope. After that experience you never grant hopelessness the control it had before. Addiction, joblessness, and wasted decades in my twenties and thirties didn’t kill me. So now whom shall I fear?

I don’t have to know if God ordained all that or not. That question is too big for anyone. I just have to know he made it fit.

Everything fits.

Together, let’s see HOW everything fits

It’s a series called Everything Fits: The struggler’s guide to confusion, waiting, regret, and hopelessness.

I hope this series will help you:

+ + Gain confidence that in the big picture everything fits

+ + Find more peace in the middle of no answers

+ + Discover three reasons why you are who you are, and for everything you experience in your life

+ + Begin to embrace your struggles as a path to awesome intimacy with God

+ + Move toward appreciating confusion and waiting as unique opportunities rather than simply something to avoid


And if you know anyone who might benefit from the series or the free ebooks, I hope you’ll share this with them.

About the Author


Gary Morland helps you feel better about your most challenging family relationships, and helps you actually improve those relationships - all by adopting simple attitudes, perspectives, expectations, and actions (the same ones that changed him and his family).


  1. deborah

    I am really excited about this series and look forward to what God will show and do through your writings. I have struggled most of my adult life, with regret and guilt over all my wrong choices and misguided decisions, that have affected not only me, but also my children. I say thank you and God richly bless you!

  2. I look forward to the series, Gary, By the way, I signed up for your free ebook but haven’t yet received it. I would like to read all of them!

  3. Can’t wait to start reading this series! I’m already subscribed. Can you send me the ebook? Thanks!

  4. M

    Ok G, somehow our Father knew I needed to cross your path!!! I have downloaded your books (thx u so much btw) & can’t wait to read them, cause Fuzzy was great! My hubbylicious & I are looking forward to Beer, as he is 23yrs clean & sober this yr! Praise God…you are so helping to connect dots, all the way to beautiful British Columbia, Canada! Staying tuned for the series…blessings, M

  5. Mindy

    What an amazing post. I will be following this. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this:)

  6. anoon

    Thank you from someone who is living with a husband who is struggling. Thank you.

  7. JOS

    Thank you. I am so glad a friend referred to me to your blog (which she found thru your daughter’s blog) I downloaded your two free ebooks Saturday and read them both the same day. I have been married for 11 years and have only had three of those years with a sober husband. He is now in a long term treatment facility where he will be for the rest of the year. It is overwhelming and heartbreaking and I have lots of hope in Christ but have no hope or faith in my husband. Your story is inspiring and I read it at just the right time. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

  8. monkey tamer

    I’m in a hurry so I’ll just skim this. Surely I can get encouragement by skimming? I feel antsy because I have work I need to get done and here I am reading this post. Truth is, I’m not doing the work I need to do and I’m not “listening” to what your post says. Now I’m avoiding 2 things instead of one. My irritation irritates me. I’m really on a roll. Why not have a glass of wine? Oh dear it’s only noon, I can’t have a glass of wine at noon. But angst is the very thing that floats my irritation to the top of the pond. And my long winded response is just one more way for me to try to control the world and not be still and know (God) He is God.

    My father was an alcoholic, my son is a heroin addict. I think I’ll forward this post to all the people in my life who can use the encouragement, esp the addicts that I love who struggle. I’m sure the post will help them if they listen and take it to heart. The louder question that has floated to the top of my little pond is, “WILL I?”

    God doesn’t waste a thing does He? Irritation has a good but nasty purpose. Thanks Gary, those monkeys have really been wearing me out!

  9. Robin Campbell

    I quit drinking almost 4 years ago, found Jesus 2 months later, and I love that I stumbled on your blog today…what am inspiration you are! Praise the Lord for all of the encouraging promising words you speak. <3

  10. Holly Kolvig

    how do get the 2 additional ebooks? I am so looking forward to them.


  1. […] dad is starting a new series Monday and his two e-books are free thru tomorrow. I was going to write more about how much you will want all of this and why but then I realized my […]

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