He coulda been a hero


Guy’s wife is standing next to a booth at the fast food restaurant. He walks up with their bag of food and says, “I’d rather sit at a table.”

She pauses. “But, I’d really like a booth.” She looks at him.

This is the moment where heroes are made.

He looks away from her toward the table and starts walking. “Well, I’d really like a table.” He’s not mean. He just wants what he wants.

Would you rather have a table or a happy wife?

Put it another way: would you rather have a table or a wife who sees you as caring, unselfish, giving, and sacrificing.

Just letting her sit where she wants will make her happy?

She won’t add up the good all at once. She may not even notice that you gave her what she wanted. But if you repeat it, and it’s a lifestyle, she’ll feel honored, and in her heart you’ll get the credit.

When you get the credit, through her attitude of gratitude towards you, you’ll be happy. It will be a happiness that affects every part of your relationship together. It will be a happiness that you didn’t anticipate. A happiness that grows on you.

And then something magical happens

You begin to feel selfish for being generous and selfless.

You feel selfish because the good will you’re getting from your wife feels pretty good, and is worth more than what you gave up. You look for more chances to be selfless. The more you do it, the better she feels, and the better you feel.

The more you do it for her, the more she does it for you. Before you know it, your disagreements are about giving in, not getting: “I promise I just want what you want..really, it will make me happy.” And you mean it.


you could get your way for twenty minutes and take the table and eat your burger and live with a woman who knows you care more about yourself than her.

She won’t say anything. But she’ll feel it. And you will too.

About the Author


Gary Morland helps you feel better about your most challenging family relationships, and helps you actually improve those relationships - all by adopting simple attitudes, perspectives, expectations, and actions (the same ones that changed him and his family).


  1. […] Most of our arguments are over giving the other person their way – yes, we argue over sacrificing for each other. We’re absolute best friends, and trust dominates and creates an inviting vibe in our home. […]

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