My Awesome Girls

Oops, I blinked.

Daughters are all grown up, married, with three kids each. That was fast.

But we’re still a close family, get together often, have plans for the future. I call the daughters a couple of times a week. Sometimes I probably bug them but I don’t care.

My wife Brenda is in the middle. She loved me when I was drunk and lost, and she now loves me sober and found. I don’t know how she could love both. Oh wait: that’s what Jesus does. I learn about grace from her every day.

Myquillyn, (The Nester, right) is our first daughter. As a kid she was always moving Barbie furniture around and now she’s always moving her real furniture. She says it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful, and she’s right. Her book is called It Doesn’t Have to Be Beautiful (go figure). You can meet her at Nesting Place.

Emily (left) is our second first daughter. As a kid she journaled – STACKS of pages. Now she writes books about living with peace and grace. She’s written Grace for the Good Girl, Graceful,  Million Little Ways, and  Simply TuesdayYou can meet her at Chatting at the Sky.

One of the things we do as a family to connect and root for each other is a yearly family vision day. You can get the free Ten Minute Guide to a Fun Vision Day Your Family Will Love to Repeat Year After Year. It’s the same vision day our family has enjoyed for over ten years. It’s a fun plan to help your whole family grow closer and get along better, in as little as one day. Just leave your email –

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Oh, by the way, I felt like an idiot

A few years ago, we were all together and someone looked at our family and asked me, “How do you get a family like that that gets along and roots for each other?”

I went, “Uhhh . . .  hmmmm.” What a great question and I didn’t have an answer! I vowed that would never happen again. Now, I’d say this:

There’s a hidden treasure buried in your family.

That treasure is God’s access to his acceptance and encouragement, uniquely created by him and divinely placed for your family.

Here’s how to find it:

1. Walk into your bathroom.
2. Look in the mirror.

Your family’s hidden treasure is you. Well, actually your presence. There’s a subtle difference between you and your presence.

Your presence is God’s access to your family.

On our own, we’ve proven to be pretty feeble change agents in our families, wouldn’t you say? What good have you caused by the power of your will and personality and wisdom alone? For me, not much.

But God’s presence through us goes to places we can’t touch, places we don’t even know exist. Sure he can do that all by himself without you. But he created families as a place for us to influence each other while cooperating with him.

There’s you. There’s your family. And there’s you IN your family. None of that is accidental.

We love it when someone cares enough to commit to cooperate with what God is up to in us. Your family would love to have the same thing – and they do: you.

It starts with acceptance

When you accept someone for who they are, when you’re patient and curious, and when you give them the incredible gift of attention, that’s when you begin to see inside their soul and see what God is up to in them. You learn who they are, how they feel, and why they do what they do. You hear their heartbeat. You then have the awesome honor of cooperating with God in what he’s doing in this person you love.

I know what you could be thinking, because I think it, too: “Aren’t there some other big strong grownups in this family who should model and cooperate with God too?” Oh yes. But right now it starts with you. And you’re enough to start with.

While changed circumstances sometimes change people, changed people always change circumstances.

One changed child eventually changes a family. A changed family will influence change in its church. Enough changed churches will transform a community. Changed communities change regions. Changed regions will in time change entire nations

~ Wes Stafford

Do you believe that?

Because if big changes in a family can start with one little kid, what kind of changes can start with one big strong grownup actively cooperating with God? One grownup growing in embracing The Lost Tools of Family Peace? One grownup moving away from The Most-Used Tools of Family Disharmony?

I’d love to join you on your journey to a family that roots for each other, and help you find relief and peace and joy in your most challenging family relationships.

To begin that journey, just leave your email. It stays totally private, promise, and you’ll get The Ten Minute Guide to a Fun Vision Day Your Family Will Love to Repeat Year After Year.


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