Influencing your family with the hand feels pushy and heavy to others. The hand doesn’t much care what anyone thinks.
The head definitely cares what you think
That’s how the head influences.
When you want your family to go to Golden Corral instead of Ruth’s Chris, and you talk about how you can spend the savings at the Putt-Putt, and how the bourbon chicken and shrimp salad rocks at GC, and Think of all the choices! There’s something for everybody! then you’re influencing with the head.
The head cares what people think and influences by convincing and persuading you towards what it believes is best. It respects you.
The head wants you happy
The head wants you sold on it. When you say, “That makes sense. I’m convinced. OK,” then the head wins. Everybody’s happy.
The hand would just push or intimidate or manipulate you into it, and then be the only one happy.
Persuading and convincing with respect is challenging. It takes sensitivity and patience. It takes time and might not turn out the way you want. You can panic inside and easily turn the head into the hand without realizing it.
But, when you persuade with respect and finally get to where you’re going it feels good to you and to everybody else.
It’s difficult but worth it.
Who in your family influences with persuasion and respect? How is your relationship with them different than with a pusher?
There’s another way of influencing. Even more difficult, but awesomely wonderful for you and your family. That’s tomorrow.
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This is day 24.
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