The Mr. Rogers method for beautiful calm in your family

So who else wins a Lifetime Achievement Award and then uses it as a chance to make it about you and me?

A glitzy self-aware industry celebration is transformed into a calm gathering of generosity and appreciation. Imagine the same transformation in your family.

Here are four things I learned from Mr Rogers about creating calm and gratitude in our families:

1.  Be the same person always. This is the same Mr. Rogers you see publicly and privately. It take a lot of emotional energy when your family has to work to know which ‘you’ will show up, and to know which you is the real you. Keep it simple and humble and honest.

2.  BE calm, don’t just talk about it; and the same with generosity, gratitude, patience, selflessness, and all the stuff we wish for our family. Mr. Rogers doesn’t teach it, it just comes out of him. Talking goes to the head, BEing goes to the heart and inspires.

3.  Give credit to others when you deserve it. Especially when you deserve it. “So many people have helped me come to this night.” We all naturally know this feels better than taking credit. Your family will copy you; you’ll never need to teach or lecture.

4.  Help your family give credit. “Ten seconds of silence. I’ll watch the time.” Create opportunities and expectations for your family to purposefully express gratitude for the help of others. Make it seem normal.

The message starts at :42. You can read the brief transcript after the video,  but you’ll miss FEELING the message in Mr Rogers’ presence.

So many people have helped me to come to this night.

Some of you are here. Some are far away. Some are even in heaven.

All of us have special ones who have loved us into being.

Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are?

Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life.

Ten seconds of silence. I’ll watch the time . . .

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they’ve made.

– Fred Rogers

Who has loved you into being, and helped you become who you are?

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A Family Like Yours is 31 Days of encouragement to help you appreciate, influence, and love the family you have (no matter what).

This is day 11.

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About the Author


Gary Morland helps you feel better about your most challenging family relationships, and helps you actually improve those relationships - all by adopting simple attitudes, perspectives, expectations, and actions (the same ones that changed him and his family).


  1. thenester

    that? is spectacular.

  2. M

    I always say, ” My momma raised me right!” Between her & God, together, they will forever recieve full credit for who I’ve become! *insert tears of joy here* thank- you, G…what a beautiful way to start my day:)
    Blessings & <3

  3. Melissa Roberts

    Beautiful. Void of ego. Simple. Emotionally transporting. Filled with honor. Historically revealing. Gentle. Thought provoking. Inspiring.

  4. Angel @ Finding The Inspiring

    You got me crying now, Gary. That was beautiful. You get the idea that those weren’t just words for Mr. Rogers. That was how he lived. His kindness was the natural overflow of his grateful heart. I hope the same can be said of me.

  5. Pam Cason

    Oh my, the tears are pooling. Without a doubt, I have to say my husband is the one who has made me who I am today. He has always seen the potential in me that I don’t always see in me, and in seeing that potential has nurtured it until it has begun to grow. He called me a writer long before I ever wrote the first words on my blog. Now I can’t imagine not writing, even when it’s hard. And when it’s hard, he’s there encouraging me and cheering me on. If I were to give a speech today I definitely would say, “My dear husband has helped me to come to this moment in time. And I am grateful.”

  6. patsy

    I live in the Philippines and I don’t think his show was shown here but I’ve heard of him. What a great perspective! Coming over from your daughter’s blog. Blessings to you! Patsy


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